10 Things James Cameron Will Buy With His Avatar Money

James Cameron was already a rich dude before Avatar stormed the gates of the film world. The $1.8 billion hauled in by Titanic afforded him some of that “f**k you money” we’d all love to possess. Pile on another $1.8 billion (so far) from his blue alien adventure and Jimbo really might be the king of the world, as he so arrogantly proclaimed after capturing Oscar gold back in 1998. If you’re responsible for the two highest grossing flicks in the history of the medium, you should probably be given a kingdom or a castle or at the very least, a cool looking crown.

However, pedestrian objects don’t interest Cameron. When he busts out his black card, he’s thinking big picture. The man is an innovator, a breaker of new ground. Words like “conservative” and “practical” have no place in his vocabulary. With this in mind, here are ten purchases Cameron plans to make using his newfound wealth.

10 – A Giant Panda

Everyone of Cameron’s ilk needs to own an endangered species. A panda running around in the backyard screams, “I am a fancy man!” Plus, Jimmy’s clout will help call attention to the panda’s plight. It’s a win-win.

9 – NASA

Let’s face it, the space program has been on a steady decline for years. It needs someone with vision, guts and an abundance of technological savvy. That man is Cameron. I mean he created a brand new planet inside his head, then brought it to life. What was NASA doing? Looking at pretty pictures from the Hubble.

8 – California

Upon purchasing America’s most populous state, Jim will rename it “Camerfornia.” He will also declare Arnold Schwarzenegger permanent governor. For some reason, this scares the shit out of me.

7 – An Original Print of Jaws 3-D

As an example of how not to produce a 3-D movie, Cameron will hold private screenings of this abomination and laugh uncontrollably while pointing out the glaring faults. Then he’ll have the director of Jaws 3-D, Joe Alves, shot and killed.

6 – A Spaceship

If you own NASA, you’re gonna need a sweet ride to travel the Universe. Modeling it after the Sulaco from Aliens will only add to Cameron’s space cred.

5 – A 100 Gallon Tank Filled With Piranha

Jimmy fell in love with these ferocious flesh-eaters while filming Piranha II: The Spawning back in 1981. Unlike in the movie, piranha still haven’t learned to fly, but that’s okay with Cameron. He likes to watch the little monsters rip apart a goat carcass for kicks and giggles.

4 -Skynet

Listen, we all know it’s only a matter of time before computer software develops cognitive thought and wipes humanity off the planet. With Cameron at the controls, at least we can guarantee our extinction will be entertaining. Getting whacked by a Terminator would totally rock.

3 – A Condo on the Moon

He’s got NASA and a spaceship, so it only makes sense Cameron build himself a humble abode on the surface of the moon. Besides, when Earth is scorched by Skynet, he’ll need a place to crash.

2 – A Shrunken Head

Why? Just because.

1 – A Full-Sized Replica of the Titanic

I’m not talking about some half-assed movie prop. This will be the real McCoy. An exact recreation of the RMS Titanic. Once completed, Cameron will load up a couple thousand of his closest friends and proceed to ram the massive vessel into an iceberg, sinking it. Ambitious fella, that James Cameron.