Reboot: Superman Re-Returns

Scott Tunstall, the site’s co-editor, and myself have been e-mailing each other back and forth about why Superman Returns sucked and how to effectively reboot the Supes franchise, something that is a mortal lock to happen. Now, we aren’t set on a story, although Superman: Birthright seems like a natural fit. Here’s what we are set on: a better script and a better cast. Now, we aren’t going to dive into the script here — although if we did we’d start by having Clark and Lex having more of a backstory, not to mention Supes throwing at least a punch — but we are going to re-cast the franchise. As DC and Warner Bros have learned from their stellar second Batman franchise, the key is not only who plays the lead but also who surrounds that lead. We think the cast of the next Superman franchise needs to be super all the way around, and here’s a cast that would be.

Re-Casting Superman

Clark Kent/Superman – Zachary Quinto

He’s carried Heroes, nailed Spock, cracked us up over at Funny Or Die, and now it’s time for a date with the cape. He doesn’t look exactly like Christopher Reeve, and that’s a good thing — nobody can fill those shoes. At the same time, he looks enough like all the previous incarnations of Superman and doesn’t come off like a pussy (I’m looking at you, Brandon Routh). He can be dorky enough to play off Kent, but at the same time he has the chops to pull of Superman. Routh was a good Kent, but didn’t cut it as Supes. After Quinto was suggested, we didn’t even consider anybody else. That’s how perfect he is for this role.

Lex Luthor – Sean Penn

I love Kevin Spacey, and he usually plays a great villain, but we just didn’t buy him as Superman’s arch nemesis. Sean Penn could take the campy character played by Gene Hackman and Spacey and take him in a brand new direction, similar to what Heath Ledger did with the Joker character. Penn also might be, along with Daniel Day-Lewis, the best actor of his generation, so that is also worth mentioning. Edward Norton would also make a fine choice, but Marvel would likely never allow their mean, green money-making machine to “suit” up for DC.

Lois Lane – Mila Kunis

Kate Bosworth was just about the worst pick for Lois Lane that Bryan Singer and Co. could have made. Kunis is hot, she’s brunette, she’s funny (like Margot Kidder was) and, as we saw in The Book of Eli, she’s also strong. Kick Kate and her Mary Kate physique to the curb and sign up Mila. She’d be perfect. We also felt Rebecca Hall of Vicky Cristina Barcelona fame would make a fine Lois.

Perry White – Dustin Hoffman

We also considered Hackman here as an homage, but Hoffman would be the finest White ever. Stranger Than Fiction was his audition, and he knocked it out of the park. His involvement alone would give the film credibility, much like Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine have the Batman franchise reboot.

Jimmy Olsen – Paul Dano

Dano is one of the more underrated young actors in the game today, and a natural fit for Jimmy Olsen. He’d be much more than just a talking plot device who provided some extra comic relief. He was amazing in both Little Miss Sunshine and There Will be Blood, and has displayed incredible range and versatility. Anton Yelchin of Star Trek and Emile Hirsch of Milk would also be good choices, but adding Dano to the rest of this cast would be like John Lithgow’s addition to the already-stellar cast of Dexter — just not even fair.