Kick-Ass Opens Today and I Don’t Care

For the nine of you who haven’t heard, Kick-Ass finally opens today. It promises to be a ginormous blockbuster. I’d love to be all excited, but I’m not. Maybe it’s the stink of Nicolas Cage that’s urging me to stay away. It could be that the idea of pimply-faced superheroes foiling baddies doesn’t do anything for me. Perhaps I’m just sick and tired of superhero flicks in general.

Truthfully, I can’t keep track of Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Avengers, The Green Hornet and all the rest of the spandex-wearing crime fighters. It’s gotten out of control, fast. I’m bracing for the announcement of an Archie and Jughead movie any day now.

I realize I’m in the minority when it comes to Kick-Ass. The early reviews have been glowing, so obviously I’m missing something. I know it’s geared toward adults and is filled with blood, action and foul language.  That’s right up my alley… and yet I just don’t care.

A friend of mine who’s already seen it called it Superbad in tights. That sounds promising, especially since I dug the shit out of Superbad. I watch the trailer and I hear multiple “fucks.” I see the kid jerking off to his teacher. Hell, a little girl says “giant cock” for Pete’s sake. And yet, I don’t find myself laughing.

I like the premise, but the execution looks a bit off-kilter. It seems as if it’s trying too hard to be hip and relevant. Then again, I’ve been wrong before. I remember having no desire to see Knocked Up when it first came out. Then the damn thing aired on HBO and I couldn’t stop watching it.

However, my initial impressions are normally spot on. Years of enduring a litany of crushing disappointments has honed my crapdar. My tastes have refined. In other words, I know what I like. I’ll probably still see it, if for no other reason than to confirm my suspicions. Who knows, maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised. It could happen. I’m just not feelin’ it though.