Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe. Bows and arrows. Shields. Swords. That same Russell haircut. That same Russell beard. The forest. Epic war scenes. Young, evil royalty. Was I not entertained? Yes, 10 years ago I was entertained. This weekend I was not. The plot? Start the saga a bit earlier and make him the O.G. teabagger. From there out it’s basically Robin Hood meets Gladiator. Cate Blanchett? Wasted. L.A. Confidential screenwriter Brian Helgeland? Wasted. Nearly three hours of my night? Wasted? The only way this movie could rob folks any more blatantly is if movie theater ticket takers started wearing green tights.