Pinch me, I must be dreaming. This story can’t be true, and yet it is. For which I say, “HALLELUJAH!!!”
Via The Live Feed comes word that ’80’s pop princesses Debbie Gibson and Tiffany have been cast in a Syfy Channel original Saturday night creature feature. Let me repeat, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany have been cast in a Syfy Channel original movie. But wait, that’s not all. The used to be dynamic but now are just pathetically washed-up duo will engage in not one, but two good ol’ fashioned girl on girl catfights. Here’s a quick breakdown:
Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.
And what shall this small screen masterpiece be called? Drumroll, please… Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid. Awesome. Totally awesome.
Now, in between my unbridled fits of giddiness, I’ve been trying to discern what exactly a “Gatoroid” is. Best I can come up with is either a massive mutating hemorrhoid or a giant alligator, that may or may not be afflicted with massive mutating hemorrhoids. Whatever it is, I’m quite certain it will look terrifyingly real and not at all ridiculous.
The flick is set to begin shooting later this month and will debut sometime next year. It sucks that I have to wait so long to see a scantily clad Deb and Tiff tussle in the swamp, but such is life. In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to decipher the mystery of the Gatoroid. Maybe it’s a gator that has been genetically altered using purple energy drink? (*rubs chin pensively*)