Better Vampire Clan: The Cullens Vs. The Lost Boys (Graphic)

When it comes to vampires, the hottest of the cold blooded right now are The Twilight Saga‘s Cullen family. I’m not a fan of the Twilight movies, but unlike others who systematically trash the franchise without actually watching the chapters, I have seen them and therefore feel completely justified when hurling pointed barbs at card carrying member of the “Twi-tard” fanbase.

I like my vamps dark, edgy and murderous, not glowing, sensitive and stable. Now, the Cullens can get nasty when they want to, so they aren’t complete wussies, but compared to other clans of brooding bloodsuckers, they don’t score very high in the coolness department. Edward is dreamy and all, but he’s also a bit of a dork. Sorry, teeny boppers.

My favorite big screen vamp family are The Lost Boys. Back in 1987, they were hip and happening. Nowadays, they still have quite a loyal following and are widely considered some of the coolest creatures of the night in the vampire genre.

So, why not compare the two clans to see which one comes out on top in a fang vs. fang melee? After all, the tale of the tape never lies. In one corner, it’s the Cullens. In the other, it’s the Lost Boys. Let’s get ready to… (Click to enlarge)

The Cullens hung tough, but they are simply no match for Santa Carla’s finest. Millions of 14- and 15-year-old girls will be crushed, but they can take solace in knowing that there will be two more Twilight flicks after Eclipse in which they can ogle Edward’s captivating eyes and luscious hair.