Today In Pointless Remakes Part II: Total Recall
Some days the news spilling out of Tinseltown causes me to start freebasing earlier than normal. Today is one of those days. According to Coming Soon, Columbia Pictures has hired director Len Wiseman to helm a remake of the ’90s Ah-nuld classic Total Recall. That pain you feel in your lower extremities is not me pulling your leg — it’s you gouging fingernails into your thigh.
One of the flick’s shameless studio heads had this to say about Wiseman:
“Len has an incredible love of the genre and a great gift for action. He’ll bring a contemporary feel to the film while taking care with everything we love about Philip K. Dick’s original story.”
Allow me to translate exec speak: Blah, blah, we got him cheap, blah blah, we want to make easy money, blah, blah, I could give a f*ck about some dead author.
Wiseman is a decent director, but his real claim to fame is being married to Kate Beckinsale. For that reason alone, I won’t trash the dude too much. After all, he’s just lookin’ for a gig. However, if he doesn’t include a three-breasted prostitute and Quato in the reboot, then he’s dead to me.
“Wiseman is a decent director, but his real claim to fame is being married to Kate Beckinsale. For that reason alone, I won’t trash the dude too much. After all, he’s just lookin’ for a gig. However, if he doesn’t include a three-breasted prostitute and Quato in the reboot, then he’s dead to me.”
Oh God, shut up! Arnold’s Total Recall film was shit. Not only was is an injustice to Dick’s work, it was poorly acted, poorly written, and poorly directed. It’s amazing how nostalgia can make people remember a bad film as a good film. If that film was released today, critics would slam it.
“Dick’s work”
It was a short story it wasn’t an epic tale of anything. The first Movie had good action an interesting story that didn’t give you all the answers, good practical effects and despite what you think a memorable lead Say what you like about the original but Arnold had a charisma that made him a big name in more then just a literal sense. What has Farrell ever done to elevate him into the lofty peaks of stardom? S.W.A.T? Miami Vice? Alexander?