Please make it stop. Marvel Studios has hired screenwriter Rich Wilkes, the brilliant mind behind the dreadfully stupid xXx, to pen a flick based on some supe named Iron Fist. I have no idea who the fu*k that is, but thankfully the investigative nerds at Deadline do:
[Iron Fist is] a martial arts expert whose battle with a dragon–ended when he plunged his hands through the beast’s molten heart–turned his fists into indestructible weapons.
Damn. Not only did the guy slay a dragon, but he got a lethal pair of hands out of the deal. Hmm… I see Jaden Smith as Iron Fist. I mean he was oh so dangerous in The Karate Kid reboot and best of all he’s got a little something called “attitude.” It’s a match made in ridiculous superhero movie heaven.
As for Wilkes, well, he did write such comedy classics as Airheads, The Stoned Age and The Jerky Boys, which means we can expect one thing for certain: Iron Fist’s hobbies will include getting high and placing prank calls. Fantastic.
I was skeptical when I first started writing this post, but I’ve done a 180. An Iron Fist movie might be the greatest superhero sensation since The Dark Knight. Eat that Christopher Nolan!