Decade Duel: 80’s Vs. 2000’s

People are obsessed with the 80’s nowadays. You see it everywhere you go. The movies are being remade, the clothing styles are being rehashed, and the music is being replayed. It’s 80’s mania. I can’t say that I mind it. I was born in 1980, and most of my memories of the decade are drenched in nostalgic awesomeness. The 80’s were my time. I was a youth, and although I had a soul trembling fear of cold war nuclear destruction, everything else was pretty amazing. Cartoons were ill then. I  watched Camp Candy, I watched Captain N the Game Master, I watched He-Man and of course the ThunderCats. It was also the decade I discovered film which means I watched Weird Science and Trading Places, I watched Lucas and Predator. I loved it.

So we’ve established that the 80’s were great, but the question is, just how great? Let’s answer that question in a cinematic sense. What we’ll do is compares the films of that wondrous decade to ones of the decade that just left us. Before we begin let me clue you guys in on just how this will work. I pitted the top comedies, action adventures, biggest Oscar winners, and highest  overall grossing films against each other. I also included a bonus category of  did comic book movies. Why did I include comic book movies?  Because I subbed it in for Sci-Fi. I did this because the Sci-Fi category was too close to my heart for the metric I used, which was pure box office performance. Listen; in my opinion the two greatest movies of the 80’s were Tango & Cash and The Dream Team, but I felt that I needed a judging system that was more by the book so I used the top grossing movies in all those categories. Let us begin THE DECADE DUEL

Top Grossing Comedies

Representing the 80’s: Beverly Hills Cop.    Representing the 2000’s: Meet The Fockers

This to me sums up this debate in a lot of ways. Here we have Beverly Hills Cop, an R rated four letter word filled piece of comedy gold, against Meet The Fockers, a movie that is no doubt funny, but also formulaic, and indicative of the recent Hollywood blockbuster trend. I have to give this one to BHC for two reasons. One is because I love the movie with a slightly disturbing passion. It’s that serious. Second is because there is not even one Black Negro American in Meet The Fockers, meaning that if I give it the nod, I can never return to the hood (even though I never plan to). Besides those two reasons, I’m going out on a limb and saying that BHC is just a better all around movie in my opinion.

Top Grossing Action/Adventure

Representing the 80’s: Raiders Of The Lost Ark. Representing the 2000’s: Avatar.

This marks the first of two times that Avatar will show up on this list, and it’s a tougher choice then the next time it shows up, but not really. I loved Avatar, I really did, but it’s not as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark. I fully admit that this may be nostalgia talking, but if both movies were on cable at the same time with Avatar on HBO and Raiders on TNT, I’d watch Raiders plus the commercials. It’s just the truth. I know Avatar was a sweeping epic full of eye popping special effects and universal story of love and connection and blah, blah, blah I don’t care. Indy had a whip and a gun and he was looking for the Ark of the Covenant.  That’s all it takes with me folks. Raiders is my second favorite Indy movie by the way.

Biggest Oscar Winner

Representing the 80’s: The Last Emperor. Representing the 2000’s: Lord Of the Rings: The Return of The King.

So, this is the toughest one to call for me. It’s tough because I didn’t like Return of the King, and I never even saw The Last Emperor. To be honest with you, I wrote this part thinking that Amadeus was the biggest Oscar winner of the 80’s. When I went back and fact checked, I realized that this film was winner. I had to rewrite the whole damn segment, so I’m already leaning towards The Return of The King out of sheer spite. But I’ll refrain from doing that. I’ll take to the world of sports and just compare the stats. Oscars: Emperor 9 Oscars. King 11. 1 for King. Battle of the Brits: Emperor features Peter O’Toole while King features Ian McKellen. I give that to Emperor, because I believe O’Toole is the finer actor and deserving of some effing respect from someone. So it’s 1 to 1 with the last category being movies I have actually seen. So King wins, even though it was too long and had like seven different endings. So King takes this Decade Duel battle.

Top Grossing Movie

Representing the 80’s E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial. Representing the 2000’s: Avatar.

Wow. Everyone is going to hate me. I kinda actually hate myself a little. I realized that my journalistic integrity is being pushed to the brink here. It is totally possible that I am incapable of objectivity in this  Decade Duel. I just cannot see a world where Avatar is better than E.T. I know it should be. It was awesome to look at, had a pretty cool story,  was brilliantly directed and made a gabillion dollars. Having said that, E.T. is a better movie and I don’t give a f*@K what anyone says. I’m a 6’4 225 black dude and E.T. makes me cry to this day. It’s a universal story, crafted by a genius, and it that gets better every time you watch it. I saw Avatar like four times. It’s sensational, it really is, but in terms of experiences it’s more like a roller coaster in that it’s dazzling and exhilarating, but you have to be in the mood for it. E.T. on the other hand, is like going fishing with your dad. It’s good for all the reasons it should be, and if you’re into that sort of thing, not only will it never get tiresome, but it’ll only get more precious the older you get. E.T. wins, and it’s not that close in my opinion.

Bonus Round : Best Comic Book Movie

Representing the 80’s: Batman. Representing the 2000’s: The Dark Knight

Love that it worked out this. This is a perfect film duel. Innovation versus perfection, a visual smorgasbord versus a grounded, realistic, perfectly executed piece of cinematic achievement.  There is no doubt that Christopher Nolan’s Batman can’t exist without Burton’s 1989 re-imagining, just as there is little doubt Nolan reached heights with the character that no other filmmaker has. Nostalgia won’t be enough this time. The Dark Knight is the best comic book movie ever made, and it supplants all its predecessors, even Burton’s 1989 classic. Once again we’ll break this down. In direction, Nolan edges Burton, in Jokers  Ledger edges Nicholson (not in cool though) Keaton and Bale are a wash to me, and TDK has the far superior script. That was tough to say. I beat a kid up on the bus over the Batman VHS back in 90, and I owned it for 25 hours before his brother got to me the next day and body slammed me Ultimate Warrior style in front of the entire 5th grade. I gave the tape back.That was my dedication. I gave and took ass whippings for Burton’s Batman. Yet  The Dark Knight still wins.

So the 80’s take this 1^st ever decade duel 3-2. This is not an exact science, actually it’s not a science at all, It’s kinda just what I think. I’m well aware that there are some films that didn’t make the fight that should have, and that there are some that made it that maybe shouldn’t have. Going off the Box Office receipts was about the only way to keep me from handpicking all the movies. Having said that, the 80’s could have very easily had a clean sweep here. The 90’s would’ve probably have kicked ass too on the strength of films like Jurassic Park and Forrest Gump, but it would have been much, much tighter. I guess they just don’t make em like they used to, but hey, at least they make em in 3-D.