Movie Review: Machete

First introduced as a fake trailer attached to Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s 2007 Grindhouse double-feature, Machete now hits screens as a fully-realized feature film, co-directed by Rodriguez and his long-time editor, Ethan Maniquis.

After an incident with a powerful Mexican druglord known only as Torrez (Steven Segal), ex-Federale turned vigilante hero, Machete (Danny Trejo), hops the U.S. border into Texas where he seeks a quiet, safe retirement from his violent past. While looking for work as a gardener, Machete is approached by a wealthy businessman (Jeff Fahey) who offers him $150 thousand to assassinate State Senator John McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro), who is running for reelection on a staunch anti-immigration platform. Upon accepting the murder contract, Machete is thrust into a world of double-crossing drug dealers, corrupt politicians and self-appointed border guardians (led by Don Johnson). Machete also features performances from Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan as the leader of an illegal immigration operation, a U.S. immigration officer and a slut, respectively.

Simply that there is now a film which boasts consummate character-actor Danny Trejo as its headliner justifies Machete’s existence. Other than that, however, there is very little of value to be found here.

Machete starts off promisingly enough. An extended prologue featuring Machete’s run-in with Torrez sets the tone for a perfect throwback to the exploitation films of the 1970s. Bad dialogue, unabashedly gratuitous nudity, an audacious soundtrack and visibly scratched film-stock flawlessly capture the B-movie aesthetic the original faux-trailer promised. It’s completely over-the-top and very funny, but played very straight – never winking at the audience. If this is what the rest of the film has in store, Machete is going to be a pretty solid movie.

After the (thematically appropriate) opening credits, though, Rodriguez and Maniquis abandon the degraded look of the opening scene and deliver a very conventional-looking picture (you can’t use copious digital effects, including CG blood, in an exploitation film). Every once in a while they’ll throw in a silly musical cue or a random topless woman, but the consistency of that first sequence is nowhere to be seen. These B-movie elements that had worked so well before are now out of place and distracting.

Even worse, to keep audiences laughing, the movie becomes peppered with broad jokes more fitting of a Freidberg and Seltzer flick than a meta-satire. These cheap jokes don’t necessarily dominate the script, but they are apparent enough to undermine the more intelligent humor and political commentary present in the film.

Rodriguez seems intent on delivering an overt message with Machete: our country’s immigration system is broken and needs to be fixed. He makes heroes out of illegal immigrants and villains out of ignorant whitefolk who want the good old U.S. of A. to themselves. In working in extremes, Rodriguez underlines what is wrong with both arguments, leaving no choice but for audiences to find truth somewhere in the middle. It could be some pretty timely and poignant stuff. Unfortunately the movie itself drowns out his message with its own overbearing stupidity.