Rewriting The Going The Distance Plot Synopsis

Oooooh goody, another romantic comedy is dropping tomorrow. It’s called Going the Distance and stars Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. It looks slightly less annoying and unwatchable than other rom-coms, but I imagine it will still be off-putting in the same way getting cigarette burns on your hands would be off-putting.

Here’s the plot synopsis (via IMDb):

Garrett (Justin Long) has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want. He seems to be doing everything right until he learns the hard way that he cannot speak the female language when his girlfriend drops him. That night, his friends want to brighten up his spirits by taking him to a bar. He meets Erin (Drew Barrymore) playing a game and ends up buying her a beer, then winning at bar trivia, and having breakfast with her the next morning. Erin is only in New York City for the summer, and will be returning to grad school in San Francisco in six weeks. They start a no-strings-attached summer fling relationship that turns into a seriously meaningful love affair. They realize that they were meant for each other, but when Erin returns home, will their love survive the distance, between New York City and San Francisco?

Sounds astoundingly awful. Now, here’s the same synopsis reworked using the titles of other romantic comedies.

Rumor has it, Garrett (Justin Long) has always had a problem with commitment and understanding what women want. He seems to be doing everything right, but one fine day the ugly truth is revealed; Garrett is clueless about the female language, so his girlfriend drops him. Say it isn’t so! That night, his friends want to brighten up his spirits by taking him to a bar. He meets a pretty woman named Erin (Drew Barrymore) playing a game and ends up buying her a beer, then winning at bar trivia, and having breakfast with her the next morning. Erin is only in Manhattan for the summer, and will be returning to grad school in San Francisco in six weeks. Only fools rush in, but they figure when in Rome, and start a no-strings-attached summer fling relationship that turns into love, actually. They realize that they are head over heels for each other. Erin is simply irresistible. Garrett is not Mr. Wrong. But when Erin returns home, their picture perfect relationship reaches a crossroads. Chances are, forces of nature will cause the break-up of America’s sweethearts. Can they survive the distance between New York City and San Francisco? What’s the back-up plan? Let’s hope they don’t go overboard.

I think I managed to squeeze over twenty in there. Not too shabby.