Hollywood has moved the furniture around, dug behind the couch and found the next re-boot, Mr. T. Yes, you heard right, Mr. T. He was hiding behind the couch the entire time and no one knew. A bidding war to bring this property to screen is sure to exceed the $5.99 he makes per hour doing whatever it is he does.
Hollywood has gone reboot crazy. Anything that came in the 1980s and was not nailed to the floor has been given a screen treatment, put in front of a test audience and thrown up on the screen like yesterday’s school lunch. Already, stars by the dozen are clamoring to be not included on the potential list to play Mr. T. Pundits sees Oscar potential with the film and rumors are flying that Antoine Fuqua and Denzel Washington will continue their trip down nostalgia lane, that is to say, pending the outcome of their talks with Sony to adapt Jean Genet’s existential masterpiece Sad French Hitman to the big screen, another potential Washington film creating major Oscar buzz. He’s just a good actor.
Why are so many bad films being given the Hollywood treatment when they F-it up worse than the original? Word came today that director Shane Black will head the re-boot of Predator. Apparently, everyone missed it so much they had to bring it back.
The re-boot of Mr. T is still a long way off from being put before the cameras and will have to compete with re-boots of Godzilla: Real Housewives of Tokyo, The Facts of Life: The Malaysian Years and whatever else Dolph Lundgren may be doing to thwart off insignificance. When asked about why the glut of re-boots, a Hollywood producer noted that screenwriters are expensive. “Why not just rent a DVD, and have your mom transcribe. It is so much cheaper and it keeps Mom busy.”