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Why Hollywood needs to stop remaking classics

There’s a million reasons why Hollywood needs to stop remaking classics, but I can only harp on the most important.

Hollywood used to tease us with it, now it just became an overblown, glorified marketing scheme to ooze more money out of ticket buyers. You know what I’m talking about, Hollywood regurgitating our nostalgia but not in the good way.

From all of you, to me, to Hollywood: we get it already!

It has now become a long running staple in the entertainment industry.  Perhaps the crash of the economy made the studio money handler’s less risky and more stereotypical.  Maybe I’m just giving them too much credit.  I don’t know what it is, but somewhere along the line every major movie studio decided to no longer gamble on creativity.  They decided, in a round-table style deliberation maybe, that it was more economical to spend their left over millions on “sure gambles.”

“From all of you, to me, to Hollywood: we get it already!

I understand the reasoning, trust me, they are far smarter than me when it comes to money.  What bothers Total Recall 2012me the most is that they never get it right.  They probably figure that because we loved Total Recall with Arnold, we would love a CGI-infested clump of a Colin Ferrell flick.  Wrong!  We loved it for a reason.  Although it has out-dated technology, it struck a chord with the masses and has become enduring because of it.  There is something indefinable that connects with its fans that can’t be duplicated.

That is my biggest argument to re-making ANY successful classic.  It struck gold in the past, let sleeping dogs lie.  How can you possibly replace Jack Nicholson in The Shining and expect the guy from Wings to match the charisma?  That’s just sad.  The best Hollywood can do is match the effort of the classic, which they never quite do.

From Psycho and Carrie to Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes, all these supposed “blockbusters” fall flat.  Sure, they make some money in the theaters out of curiosity, but they never retain the lifespan like the classics that came before them.

That brings me to my point, Hollywood needs to stop already.  We get it.  Robocop may look cooler now, but will he hold the same charisma?  Obviously not.

Here’s the secret to re-making classics successfully: make only the bad ones.

That’s it, simple.  Make only the ones that were charming but had its flaws.  No one will be offended, no one will truly carebatman2-large             if Howard the Duck gets another revival that ends in shambles.  Can it really be worse than the original?

Unless if there’s true talent and a very clear direction to take the film/franchise into a completely different direction, see The Dark Knight trilogy, then it’s not worth doing.

Take a gamble on creativity and originality and see where it takes you.  After all, that’s the only way to create new spins on classics… you know, the exact opposite of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Tags: Box Office Entertainment

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