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The Worst Film Ever: The Human Centipede

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I am a tolerant guy where films are concerned. Where horror movies are concerned, I am even more so. I will watch a film, even though I know it is going to be an utter piece of garbage. In Tim Dirks’ piece about controversial films, The Human Centipede is included. Frankly, it is not worth including. If anyone read my previous piece on Bloodsucking Freaks, you’ll remember I thought it wasn’t a very good film. However, Blood Sucking Freaks looks like a masterpiece when compared to The Human Centipede. The difference? Bloodsucking Freak,s for all its ills, was watchable; The Human Centipede was a ridiculous piece of garbage for which, amazingly, director Tom Six was allowed to make a sequel. In case you weren’t aware or wanted, for some odd reason, to know the plot (it is really hard to call what director Tom Six offered a plot, but I will), it involves two American girls traveling in Europe who get a flat tire in the rain and it is night. They seek shelter in the villa of demented retired Nazi surgeon, Dr. Heiter.

Yahtzee!  Director Six obviously spent about six minutes on the screenplay or was trying to prove something.

Anyway, Heiter drugged the girls’ drinks and proceeded to surgically attach one girl to a guy’s rear end and the other girl to the previous girl’s rear end. Why? Who cares? Film is about the suspension of disbelief but you have to earn that credit and Six earned nothing. The actor who played Heiter was terrible, the plot moronic and ridiculous.

Advertisements for the film claimed it was “100% Medically Accurate.” Although the film’s disturbing surgical procedure was described in great detail, the actual results were mostly implied rather than explicitly shown. It boggles the mind that there are lost films that humanity will never see, yet The Human Centipede, a film that deserves to die an agonizing death, lives on.

For the record, I haven’t seen the sequel…yet.

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