While trying to find out what the hell Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is about, I stumbled across a still from the flick that reminded me of one of my favorite big screen characters: Maximus from the totally awesome Gladiator. I have no idea if Boron the Owl is the father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, or whether he’ll have vengeance in this life or the next, but he’s got himself one wicked cool helmet. By the way, if you didn’t know, Legend of the Guardians is about old owls fighting young owls or something along those lines. And it’s animated. And in 3D. Hoo-ray! Get it? *slaps knee and guffaws* (Oh, and if the owl pictured above isn’t Boron, feel free to correct me. I think it’s him, but can’t be 100% positive. All those damn owls look the same to me. Kinda like Asians.)

I’m currently re-watching Twin Peaks, possibly the greatest TV show of all time. When I saw Peggy Lipton, aka Norma Jennings, this time around I couldn’t help think of another small screen waitress — Daphne Landry of True Blood. My first thought was, damn, she’s aged well. But then I realized that’s impossible given that both actresses played aging waitresses who, in my opinion, were just as hot as any of the younger chicks on their respective shows.

Regardless, the resemblance is uncanny, even a little bit spooky, especially considering they essentially played the same role on two very similar TV shows. Just who are these chicks? I thought you’d ask.

Peggy Lipton is best known for The Mod Squad, Peaks and, yes, being Rashida Jones’ mom. She ended up marrying Quincy Jones after dating Elvis, a fling which ended when she tried to get him to join the church of Scientology. The King wasn’t  down with the Tom Cruise voodoo.

Ashley Jones is best known for playing that weird shapeshifter broad (no, not the really weird one) on True Blood and playing the slutty caterer who banged Craig Kilborn in Old School. You know, the original Daily Show dude. No worries, we forgot he was alive, too. Jones also had a long stint on a well-known soap. The name? Who cares, all those shows are the same. They should just call them Soap No. 1, Soap No. 2, etc. I’ll give her credit, though, she is smoking hot.

Both of these actresses also look like Nancy Taylor from Groundhog Day (not a good photo, but the best I could find), who, ironically enough, Phil Connors first met in a diner. She’s not as hot — partially because she had a hideous wardrobe — but the resemblance is obvious. Well, time for me to go and watch more of a much younger Lipton looking foxy in that turquoise diner dress. Gas wasn’t all Big Ed was pumping. Lucky bastard.

Like most plots these days, movie posters have a tendency to copy off each others papers. It’s easy to identify similar patterns if you look close enough. I’ve already covered the similarities in ads for romantic comedies and also spotted the use of the “stink eye” to promote several films released earlier this year. As luck would have it, another trend reared its head this summer. Notice anything simpatico about the following posters?

Jonah Hex

The Last Airbender

Inception

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

I Spit On Your Grave

Back facing us. Head turned to the right. Weapon in right hand.

Talk about mailing it in. C’mon, Hollywood poster artists. You could at least try to be original.

I’ve never understood the appeal of movie stills. They rarely reveal anything of note and yet some people can’t stop creaming their jeans when the studios share them with the public. Hey look, it’s George Clooney running in a suit, or Angelina Jolie squinting. Boor-ing. Take the new images from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for instance, which you can see here. There’s an owl in mid-flight, Hermione with bloody hands and Harry in a motorcycle sidecar. Pardon me while I hit the snooze button. On the bright side, check out this amazing depth of field. Both Harry and Rupert are in focus. Incredible. *wonders how many people will recognize the sarcasm*

Last week I posted a pic of Emma Watson’s new super-short coiffure. Cute, but a little preteen boyish for my liking. I knew I had seen a similar cut, but it took me a few days to put my finger on it. She looks like Mia Farrow from 1968′s horror classic Rosemary’s Baby, right? Or have I had one too many Long Island Iced Teas?

Normally, I wouldn’t post a pic of some actress who went to the parlor and got a new hairdo, but I have an unhealthy fascination with Emma Watson, so I feel compelled to share her new look. Wave goodbye to those long golden locks. TA-DA!

She’s still cute as a button, but the resemblance to a 12-year-old boy can’t be ignored. Needless to say, I won’t be adding this pic to my thick folder of Emma spank material.

[Via Facebook]

I’m probably in the minority, but I’m looking forward to Piranha 3D. It looks so ridiculously campy, I bet it will totally rock, in a Syfy channel original movie kind of way. Ya know, buckets of blood and shredded corpses interspersed with lines of awful dialog and shots of surgically enhanced breasts. Take a gander at the latest poster. It practically screams old school horror flick.

Let’s take a little inventory, shall we. Close-up of tight female ass — check. Discarded bikini top — check. Open bottle of beer — check. Army of flesh-eating monster fish — check. Stupid tagline — check. Oh yeah, Piranha 3D is gonna be the sh*t!

One question: Is the delectable young woman who’s about to be nibbled to death wearing a thong beneath her bikini bottoms, or is the thong part of the suit? I’m not up to date on current trends in swimming apparel, so forgive my ignorance. *wastes rest of day looking at hot chicks in bikinis*

Finally, after years of waiting and months of speculation, we got a glimpse of what The Avengers will look like when they all hit the big screen together in director Joss Whedon’s upcoming superhero extravaganza, courtesy of this cast photo snapped at Comic-Con over the weekend (Via /Film). Click to enlarge.

(From L to R)

Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man

Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow

Chris Hemsworth as Thor

Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America

Samuel L. Jackson as Agent Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/The Hulk

Joss Whedon as the balding director

Kevin Feige as the douchebag studio executive

Wow. Downey Jr. sure does stick out like a sore thumb and I mean that in a good way. Well, for him anyway; the dude oozes cool. Hemsworth, Evans and the rest will be hard pressed to manufacture the same appeal. At any rate, the flick is scheduled for a May 2012 release, so there’s plenty of time to get your geek on from now until then.

I’m well aware German director Uwe Boll is not well liked among the internet community and by anyone with an iota of taste in movies, but I had no idea the man was going through life without any friends. That’s just sad. According to Wikipedia — the bastion of accurate online information — Uwe is completely friendless. (Click to enlarge).

Really, Wikipedia — not one friend? Not even his wife? Not even Claus, the boy next door he used to make crappy home movies with while growing up in Wermelskirchen?

Apparently, one of Boll’s dedicated haters is responsible for this heinous act of libel because Wikipedia has since changed the page. Now we can all rest easy knowing that Uwe does in fact have friends. Or maybe he doesn’t. I mean the guy did make Alone in the Dark and Postal, so it’s not insane to think he’s hated by the entire world population.