80s remakes and sequels are generally bad ideas. Once in a great while, however, there’s a need to revisit an 80s movie. In this case, it’s a need for speed. Yes, I’m talking Top Gun for those of you who need a little more speed upstairs. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer recently sat down with MTV to discuss how they couldn’t figure out how to do it.

Really? You can’t figure it out? Seriously? Not that hard, Jerry. You ever watch a movie called The Color of Money? Hell, Tom Cruise was even in it and it came out the same year as Top Gun. The Top Gun sequel would be a lot like that sequel. I first pitched the idea back in this post of 80s movies that need 3D updates. Anyway, things couldn’t be lined up any more perfectly for this sequel to happen.

Both Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer would do this movie in an effing heartbeat, as neither of their careers have ever been in worse shape. OK, maybe McGruber and Tropic Thunder helped a little bit, but I doubt these guys want to co-star as fat assclowns for the rest of their careers. Have Cruise reprise his Pete “Maverick” Mitchell character, a legendary washed-up Navy instructor who has fallen on hard times. Val Kilmer’s “Iceman” could slide into the buddy role vacated by Anthony Edwards. Tom Skerritt is still alive and kicking and would be thrilled to bring back Viper. Michael Ironside would reprise Jester for probably the cost of an extra value meal. Cruise would likely want to produce as well, so rounding up all of these guys would be relatively inexpensive.

As far as conflict and timing, the International and homeland security threats that face the United States today blow away what we were facing back in 1986. I’m thinking this time around it would be more like another Jerry Bruckheimer and Tony Scott movie — Crimson Tide. Hell, bring Quentin Tarantino on to write again, even if it’s just to clean the thing up. Can you imagine Q.T. scripting dialogue between Maverick and the Iceman? Insanity. Top Gun worked despite a true enemy threat never really being established. With what’s going on in the World today that wouldn’t have to be the case the second time around.

Now, back to The Color of Money. In that movie, Paul Newman plays Fast Eddie Felson, a pool hustler who hasn’t played in over 20 years (after The Hustler, the first film). Now a liquor salesman itching to get back in the action, he takes on a protege, Cruise’s Vincent. They have a falling out and Felson ends up picking up his stick again. I think a similar storyline could be done in the sky.

Picture this: Maverick’s lost everything in his life except his job, and that’s only because he’s the best instructor at Top Gun. He’s a drunk. He’s an asshole. He no longer flies. He’s more than lost that loving feeling. He’s gone from dangerous to cantankerous. But a talented young fighter pilot who reminds him very much of himself comes along during a crisis and gives Maverick a sense of purpose for the first time in a long time. Of course, the flick would end with Maverick having to get back into the cockpit one last time.

You know the studios would want a hunk like Taylor Lautner or Channing Tatum, but I’d prefer Zac Efron. Efron received high praise for his work in Me and Orson Welles and would be about the exact same age as Cruise was in the original. For all of you fellas who want to quickly dismiss Efron, I bet anything you were saying the same thing about Leo back when Romeo + Juliet and The Titanic dropped. Haters. Chris Pine and FlickSided favorite Joseph Gordon-Levitt would also be great choices, but both are older. The other two (Lautner and Tatum) belong in an Abercrombie catalog. You’d also need a love interest somewhere in there. Even Martin Scorsese’s The Color of Moneyy had that, and, after all, this would certainly be a summer tentpole movie. You’d also have to have a homoerotic volleyball scene. That’s an absolute must just for nostalgia’s sake.

This kind of movie would also be perfect for 3D, and I say that as someone who’s normally not a huge fan of the format. Consider how much the average 3D ticket goes for, that the original made about $350 million back in 1986, throw in an up-and-coming heartthrob like Efron who can actually act, and you’ll rake in over $100 million opening weekend. Guaranteed. As my old film school professor used to say, “you’re not making f***ing Chinatown” — but it would be a lot of fun, wouldn’t it? They’re going to make this movie no matter what as nothing is forsaken nowadays, so here’s hoping they do it the right way. Now, anybody got Bruck’s digits?

This past weekend I pulled off a rare feat. A feat that I usually reserve for the fall when nothing is going on, but one that I had to attempt because my summer just hasn’t found its legs yet. This feat, this wonder of modern modernness involves seeing two new movies in one weekend. Yeah, I freakin did it. I saw The A-Team on Friday night, and on Sunday, I caught The Karate Kid. First off two quick reviews….

Karate Kid –

Just slap me in the face the next time you want to disrespect me Will Smith. Save me the money and just walk up to me and slap my mouth apart. Your kid has talent I grant you that, you want to flex the muscles of nepotism and give him a movie, fine. That’s America. Next time, just try not to spit on my nostalgia . It was okay. He beat up Asians, they beat him up. There was no Johnny Lawrence though. No Cobra Kais. After seeing this film, pain existed in the Dojo of my heart . Just make a new movie for your kid. Don’t eff with me and my memories.

The A Team –

Explosions. Bradley Cooper worked out for the part. No rear shots of Jessica Biel. The End.

After my miraculous two movie weekend I began to think about Hollywood and this reboot/remake craze. At first I felt like it didn’t really bother me. Then I got home and read that Emma Roberts has just signed on to star in a Scream reboot. Ummm, Scream came out when I was in the 11^th grade, I’m 30 now. This is getting out of hand. Lots of movies are cool to reboot I think. I have no issues with a lot of them. Seeing a new take on Freddy kind of gets you, he’s an iconic character. A new Red Dawn? No problem, new world enemies, could be cool. But a movie that is 14 years old, that had its last sequel come out like ten years ago? I mean, all the original actors in Scream could pretty much revise their roles for the reboot thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery and the horror of career stagnation. What is Matthew Lillard doing now? Hanging out, that’s what.

So, I’m not sure where I stand with the reboot. But I also realize that I don’t completely understand the craze. So, to better understand the reboot and its virtues and potential pitfalls, I categorized what I feel like are the three different types of reboots.

First off we have The Mulligan Reboot

For you non- golfers, a Mulligan is when you eff a shot up so bad that you can’t work with it. I mean, you shanked it soooo bad that the players you’re playing with just go, “You know what bro, let’s forget that that ever happened.” They give you another chance because they know that you can’t suck that bad. This happens in film as well. For example, Ang Lee screwed up The Hulk. He screwed it right up. He made the big green guy into a psychological thriller. We don’t need that Ang. Since Ang proved that he was too smart for the movie, they just pretended like his didn’t exist. Ed Norton then got his shot in a movie called The Incredible Hulk which was only slightly better. This type of reboot has happened a couple other times as well. There was also The Punisher which despite being ridiculous did accomplish three things. It reminded us to hate John Travolta again, drove Thomas Jane to a future on HBO, and was so horrible that it compelled Marvel to reboot it a couple years later with an equally bad film called Punisher: War Zone. There are more Mulligan reboots lined up, including a new Superman project, thanks to Bryan Singer driving one into the ruff back in 2006. If you notice, a lot of these Mulligan reboots are comic book movies. This proves that you never want a fanboy caddying for you. He won’t let you live with a bad shot.

Then we have The Shadow Reboot

I saw a great movie once. It was about a law enforcement dude who had to go undercover to stop a ring of criminals. He like them was addicted to adrenaline, so he bought into their hard partying lifestyle and the way they got their kicks. Before you know it, he was dating a girl connected to their leader who just so happened to be a criminal whose dedication to family and friends the cop dude kinda admired. Everyone born after 1985 is thinking “Yeah man, I loved The Fast and The Furious too!” Well, I’m not talking about that silly car movie. I’m talking about a real classic. I’m talking about Point Break. TFATF is a Shadow Reboot, basically a point by point plot jack of an already known movie that normally is a cult favorite. You brighten it up, make it new and release it. In this case, you make the surfing in Point Break, street racing in TFATF, and change bank robbing to robbing trucks. It happens more than you think. Wasn’t last year’s Channing Tatum vehicle Fighting just a prettier version of Jean Claude Van Damme’s insanely entertaining 1990 film Lionheart? Think about it, white boy running away from something ends up in the big city. He can fight. A slick talking black dude gets him involved in illegal fighting for cash, he finds meaning in the fighting. There is a woman and a child. He wins the big fight in the end. This describes both movies to a tee, except for the fact that Van Damme is a badass and Tatum is an underwear model.

Lastly, there is the The Moola Reboot

These movies will always be rebooted. They feature really popular characters like Batman, Superman and Captain James T. Kirk.  These films have the double whammy of being potentially the most entertaining and the most disappointing reboots. Every director and every studio wants to make these movies because they are almost guaranteed to make money no matter how bad they suck. Sometimes they produce jewels like Batman Begins, and Star Trek. Sometimes they blow, a la Superman Returns. Now that Spider Man is going back to high school, count him amongst the ranks of a Moola Rebootable character. Our children will be seeing Spider Man movies and Batman movies and all types of other crap. Rebooting these movies is kinda like having sex with a Porn Star. Even if turns out bad, you’ll probably try it again, because it always seems like a good idea.

Well, that’s it. That’s the three as I see them. Sure, you could argue that there are more, like the Classic Movie Reboot like in the case of Ocean’s Eleven. Or the This Character Unexpectedly Became Popular So Let’s Milk It For All It’s Worth Reboot which applies to movies like Red Dragon. On Red Dragon I have to say this now that I have a forum. Please never remake/reboot a movie directed by Michael Mann with one directed by Brett Ratner. I’m not even a Brett hater, yet I realize that scenario like being married to Beyonce and cheating with Lil’ Kim. You are not allowed to responsibly fall that far off. Anyway, I guess I’m okay with the reboot/remake mania, even if he keeps guys like me from getting my scripts read. I only wish I were a studio head, so that I could make the type of reboots that I want. Like a reboot of The Godfather franchise starring the cast of Gossip Girl. Or better yet, how about a new Lethal Weapon series set in Toronto this time and starring Zach Efron and Nick Cannon with John Singleton at the helm. OMG, that might be the the best thing I’ve ever thought off. Anyway, somebody make that happen. It could be in the reboot hall of fame, along with Rollerball.

After re-watching The Matrix, I’ve been pondering a Matrix prequel for about the past week (not the straight-to-DVD The Animatrix either, which was but a taste). Matter of fact, a Matrix prequel could end up being the best installment in the series. After the sequels, the Matrix franchise doesn’t need to be reloaded or any revelations — it needs to be redeemed. The way to do this is to go back to the beginning, long before Ted Logan borrowed Rufus’ trenchcoat and became the one. A Matrix prequel could end up being one of the best prequel/reboots of all time. Seeing how the human resistance originated is a story I think all of us fans would like to see.

Here is why and how a Matrix prequel could work…

The Keanu/Neo Factor

Keanu Reeves. He didn’t hold back the original, but he was in the Luke Skywalker role. In a lot of ways, it is one of the easier roles in the film. All he had to be was the doe in the woods for about 75% of the film, and then as it reached its climax he turned into a confident and willing hero. Sure, his role had an arc, but it didn’t have a lot of depth or emotion. Morpheus, Trinity, Cypher, hell, even Agent Smith were all so much more invested in the war that was taking place, regardless of which side they were on. By the time Neo realized what war he was in, its stakes and who he might be, he was already at the Oracle’s crib with a decision to make. He seemed too shocked to truly digest anything and then — boom! — he was called to action. As for that decision, that wasn’t even all that heartfelt. He didn’t have any time to even struggle with it, and deep down I think we all knew he wasn’t going to actually sacrifice himself, despite his efforts. The protagonist role and the actor playing said protagonist could both be stronger in a prequel.

The Storyline

As for the plot, it was pretty incredible. But we joined the fight pretty late in the game. I’m sure the earlier struggles of Zion and its founders were far more difficult. We enter this world  as Morpheus and his fellow Zionites are on the verge of finally being able to go to war with the agents of the Matrix, instead of always running from them. What’s cool is that we discover the Matrix and what is possible as Neo does, we make that journey with him. But wouldn’t it be cooler to see that actual discovery? That would be much more compelling. Also, the sequels got tripped up completely lost in philosophy and the increasingly blurred line between what was real and what was the Matrix. The sequels were a clunky mix of exposition and redonkulous action sequences (Which sometimes the technology couldn’t keep up with. For instance, the Neo vs. the Smiths battle in The Matrix Reloaded. That looked video-gamish, and not in a good way). All the incoherent, overthunk exposition really kind of unraveled and ultimately weakened what we loved about the first film. Focusing on a prequel could undo a lot of that damage.

Scott Tunstall, the site’s co-editor, and myself have been e-mailing each other back and forth about why Superman Returns sucked and how to effectively reboot the Supes franchise, something that is a mortal lock to happen. Now, we aren’t set on a story, although Superman: Birthright seems like a natural fit. Here’s what we are set on: a better script and a better cast. Now, we aren’t going to dive into the script here — although if we did we’d start by having Clark and Lex having more of a backstory, not to mention Supes throwing at least a punch — but we are going to re-cast the franchise. As DC and Warner Bros have learned from their stellar second Batman franchise, the key is not only who plays the lead but also who surrounds that lead. We think the cast of the next Superman franchise needs to be super all the way around, and here’s a cast that would be.

Re-Casting Superman

Clark Kent/Superman – Zachary Quinto

He’s carried Heroes, nailed Spock, cracked us up over at Funny Or Die, and now it’s time for a date with the cape. He doesn’t look exactly like Christopher Reeve, and that’s a good thing — nobody can fill those shoes. At the same time, he looks enough like all the previous incarnations of Superman and doesn’t come off like a pussy (I’m looking at you, Brandon Routh). He can be dorky enough to play off Kent, but at the same time he has the chops to pull of Superman. Routh was a good Kent, but didn’t cut it as Supes. After Quinto was suggested, we didn’t even consider anybody else. That’s how perfect he is for this role.

Lex Luthor – Sean Penn

I love Kevin Spacey, and he usually plays a great villain, but we just didn’t buy him as Superman’s arch nemesis. Sean Penn could take the campy character played by Gene Hackman and Spacey and take him in a brand new direction, similar to what Heath Ledger did with the Joker character. Penn also might be, along with Daniel Day-Lewis, the best actor of his generation, so that is also worth mentioning. Edward Norton would also make a fine choice, but Marvel would likely never allow their mean, green money-making machine to “suit” up for DC.

Lois Lane – Mila Kunis

Kate Bosworth was just about the worst pick for Lois Lane that Bryan Singer and Co. could have made. Kunis is hot, she’s brunette, she’s funny (like Margot Kidder was) and, as we saw in The Book of Eli, she’s also strong. Kick Kate and her Mary Kate physique to the curb and sign up Mila. She’d be perfect. We also felt Rebecca Hall of Vicky Cristina Barcelona fame would make a fine Lois.

Perry White – Dustin Hoffman

We also considered Hackman here as an homage, but Hoffman would be the finest White ever. Stranger Than Fiction was his audition, and he knocked it out of the park. His involvement alone would give the film credibility, much like Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine have the Batman franchise reboot.

Jimmy Olsen – Paul Dano

Dano is one of the more underrated young actors in the game today, and a natural fit for Jimmy Olsen. He’d be much more than just a talking plot device who provided some extra comic relief. He was amazing in both Little Miss Sunshine and There Will be Blood, and has displayed incredible range and versatility. Anton Yelchin of Star Trek and Emile Hirsch of Milk would also be good choices, but adding Dano to the rest of this cast would be like John Lithgow’s addition to the already-stellar cast of Dexter — just not even fair.

With Gremlins all but officially getting the 3D remake treatment, other 80s films are bound to follow. Here’s our list of five other 80s flicks that should return to the silver screen in 3D.

The Running Man – If a studio handed me a cool 100 mil and told me to remake a movie — I know, why the hell would they do that? — this is the one I’d remake. I love the cheesy Ah-nuld flick, but in the midst of a reality TV craze with amazing new film technology at our disposal, this one could be a hyper-real sci-fi/action blockbuster the second time around. It would be much more like the Stephen King novel than the Paul Michael Glaser version.  Who would I pick to play Ben Richards? Chiwetel Ejiofor. Anyone who’s seen Redbelt and Serenity knows this is the man to bring back that “one mean motherfucker” in a much more serious film.

Top Gun – Bring Tom Cruise back (not to mention Val Kilmer as well) as a kooky instructor out at Top Gun and fly planes into our faces until we get nauseous. With the amount of potential enemies we have across the globe, this one would be easy to write. This sequel would be The Color Money to Top Gun‘s The Hustler, with Cruise playing Paul Newman and someone else playing Cruise (probably Cruise-in-training Taylor Lautner…oh well). Did that confuse the bejesus out of you? Good. Anyway, Cruise is at his best when he’s goofy (Tropic Thunder), and everybody has “the need for speed.” How else do you explain four Fast and the Furious movies? OK, besides Paul Walker and Vin Diesel needing work?

The Fly – The 80s version itself was a remake, so we already know it can be rebooted. David Cronenberg wants to once again direct the gruesome gnat, and I say sign him up. Nicolas Cage wants to star? Probably going to have to say that’s not a good idea, given what he did to The Wicker Man remake. Then again, the 80s pick starred Jeff Glodblum, so maybe the Cagester would be perfect? Regardless, we’d trust Cronenberg’s judgment if he were given the green light on this project.

Weird Science – I love the plot — computer geek can’t get a girl so he creates one. I think the way you’d update it is to have him actually create a robot android who, while hot and funny, basically turns into the Terminator with tits. Hilarity and a lot of shit getting blown up would ensue. Give it to the cats who directed Zombieland. Jesse Eisenberg would be a perfect star, too. I love the original, but it might be one of the most outdated movies in the history of cinema. I love John Hughes, but John Hughes, rest his soul, is dead. There was only one John Hughes and only one time for John Hughes. Time for a new take.

Maximum Overdrive – Back in 1988, Stephen King (again!) directed an accidental parody of his own source material. This time around, the apocalyptic Overdrive wouldn’t be so campy. Here’s my vision: Transformers without the Autobots or the Michael Bay. Due to weird cosmic activity, machines become alive for 8 days, 29 minutes and 23 seconds. Not only that, but they also become genocidal maniacs. This remake would be perfect for District 9 director Neil Blomkamp, who could likely deliver more bang for the buck than just about anyone out there. Sign him up!