After sitting through Twilight: Eclipse, this much I can surmise: Robert Pattinson will have a career after Twilight because, well, he can actually act. Taylor Lautner, not so much. Kristen Stewart too often falls back into the same awkward, mumbling character but I blame her performance more on the insanity of a character like Bella Swan. Her blind devotion to someone (a vampire, no less), which would in turn cause her to have to one day leave behind her entire family forever is mind-boggling. The acting is laughable and I find it hard to believe that these supposedly ruthless members of the Volturi are all teenagers sporting haircuts that belong in an emo band. Pretty ridiculous, but not the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

I’m probably overlooking a few trilogies, but Toy Story 3 could be the best threequel ever. I’d honestly rather watch it in “Spanish mode” than just about anything else I’ve seen this summer. The additions of Lotso, Ken (Michael Keaton kills it, by the way) and the rest of the Sunnyside Day Care crew, alongside off-to-college Andy, give Woody his stiffest opposition yet. Andy isn’t the only thing that’s all grown up either; Pixar continues it’s trajectory of deeper thinking pictures (Wall-E, Up) while wrapping up the Toy Story saga. I’ll miss those damn toys about as much as Andy will.

Jake Gyllenhaal is roided up. Ben Kingsley is out of place. Alfred Molina is refreshingly amusing. Gemma Arterton is largely wasted. I never played the video game Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is based on, but I’m guessing it was very similar to the big screen incarnation. Lots of jumping and climbing and swordplay, but little else. Video games make awful movies because they are all about action. Things like story, plot development and character arcs aren’t important or even necessary. Prince of Persia isn’t a disaster. It’s a mildly entertaining distraction. Nothing more, nothing less.

Who woulda thunk that an unfunny skit featuring Reese Witherspoon’s unfaithful ex-husband and a swollen, straight-to-DVD Val Kilmer would end up being the funniest Saturday Night Live flick since Wayne’s World. As unlikely as it might seem, MacGruber is deserving of the praise. Strangely enough, it’s not spoofing MacGyver as much as it is Ah-nuld, 16-pack-of-abs Sylvester Stallone and “yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” Bruce Willis. SNL’s box office batting average is embarrassing, but this is a must-see comedy. Why? The writing, Will Forte and his two unlikely co-stars. But mostly Will Forte. Did I mention Will Forte yet?

Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe. Bows and arrows. Shields. Swords. That same Russell haircut. That same Russell beard. The forest. Epic war scenes. Young, evil royalty. Was I not entertained? Yes, 10 years ago I was entertained. This weekend I was not. The plot? Start the saga a bit earlier and make him the O.G. teabagger. From there out it’s basically Robin Hood meets Gladiator. Cate Blanchett? Wasted. L.A. Confidential screenwriter Brian Helgeland? Wasted. Nearly three hours of my night? Wasted? The only way this movie could rob folks any more blatantly is if movie theater ticket takers started wearing green tights.

All About Evil screened at the 53rd San Francisco International Film Festival, which took place this year from April 22nd to May 6th. For more information about the festival, please visit their official website.

All About Evil will next screen at the Alamo Drafthouse’s Ritz Theatre in Austin, TX on May 15th. The screening will include a live stage show, Q&A and meet and greet. Please visit http://originalalamo.com for showtimes and tickets. The SFIFF premier featured the stage show and Q&A, an experience that I highly recommend.

Skatopia: 88 Acres of Anarchy is a documentary that follows Brewce Martin, the man who has brought anarchy to a small Appalachian section of Ohio. He runs the aptly-named Skatopia, a haven for skateboarders, misfits, and all those who live a nomadic lifestyle. This self-sustaining community of people who never seem to stop getting drunk or beat the hell out of each other during a live punk song on a tightly-packed stage also manages to put together one of the best areas to skate in the entire country. Martin’s personal quirks and issues make this a perplexing, almost tragic, but ultimately engrossing look at a true subculture.

Cyrus screened at the 53rd San Francisco International Film Festival, which took place this year from April 22nd to May 6th. For more information about the festival, please visit their official website.

Cyrus will begin a theatrical run in the U.S. on June 18th. A full review will be made available upon its release.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work was the Closing Night Film at the 53rd San Francisco International Film Festival, which took place this year from April 22nd to May 6th. For more information about the festival, please visit their official website.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work has secured North American distribution through IFC Films. A full review will be made available upon its commercial release.