I dunno about other Losties, but I’ve been hankering to get my paws on some of those Dharma props used in the series. Could be a box of cereal or a six pack of brew. Doesn’t matter. I just need something as compensation for enduring six seasons of unanswered questions and frustrating tangents. Luckily, the powers that be have made my wish a reality by holding an official Lost auction and exhibit. Here’s a breakdown from the press release:

“LOST” The Official Show Auction and Exhibit will take place in southern California at the Barker Hangar in the Santa Monica Airport on Saturday, August 21 and Sunday, August 22. ABC Studios, in partnership with Profiles in History, will conduct a live and online auction featuring the iconic props, wardrobe and set decoration of the Emmy Award-winning television series. Along with the auction, ABC will be offering fans an opportunity to immerse themselves in all things “LOST.” Large set pieces from the show will be on display, including a Dharma van and pieces of the plane wreckage from Oceanic flight 815. Other memorable props and wardrobe will also be featured.

Hooray! I’m as happy as Hurley with a stash of ranch dressing. And look, it’s being held in a hangar. Real subtle auction organizers. I bet there were a lot of high-fives going around the room when that idea was broached.

Now all I have to do is get to Santa Monica. I’d take a plane but I’m petrified it will crash on a strange island inhabited by polar bears, smoke monsters, douchebag scientists and some black kid who whispers a lot. Oh well. There’s always eBay.

When Lost ended its six-season run back in May, many loyal fans felt betrayed and enraged by what they deemed an unsatisfying end to a great television series. I thought the finale was fine, but you can’t please everybody. Just ask co-creator Damon Lindelof. While accepting a TV Critics Association Award over the weekend, Lindelof gave his haters some love by sharing their vitriolic tweets. Here are three I found particularly creative:

“Hey, douche! Instead of backpacking in Europe or whatever the fu*k you’re doing, how about you give me six years of my life back?”

“Has anyone accused you of being an emotional terrorist yet? And research these words: closure and actual explanations.”

“You’re a dirty liar. You never knew, you made it all up, you betrayed us all. You betrayed me and I hope you rot, motherfu*ker.”

You know you’re despised when the best thing someone says about you is you’re a douche. Emotional terrorist? I hope you rot? Geesh. It’s a TV show, people. These clowns are acting like Lindelof ran over a box of kittens with a lawnmower. Ain’t Twitter grand?

[Via Vulture]

I love news stories like this one. They don’t really tell us anything concrete, but are still labeled as “exclusive.” Anyway, Deadline has once gain dipped their silver scoop into the carton of Hollywood ice cream and pulled out this flavorful bit of info: Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof might be writing Ridley Scott’s planned Alien prequel. Or, he might be writing something completely different. Confuse us some more Deadline:

In a development as vexing as a Lost plotline, studio insiders said that while Lindelof indeed met with Scott and the studio for that rewrite job, the exchange of ideas between them sparked a take that could well turn out to be a free-standing science fiction film. The studio will decide when Lindelof turns it in.

Huh? Let me get this straight — Lindelof is either going to write a flick about acid-for-blood-aliens, or a flick that has nothing to do with acid-for-blood-aliens. Okalee dokalee.

Personally, I don’t give a hoot who scribes the thing. I just wanna see Scott direct another Alien movie. I’m certain some of you fellow Losties out there are bitching an moaning at the thought of Lindelof writing the script for fear he’ll butcher it like he did the Lost finale. Uh, get over yourselves already. I loved the show and had zero problem with the ending. How did you want it to wrap? With everyone returning home and resuming their sad, pathetic lives? With the island disappearing? Move on, people. It’s over.

I’m not going to do an extensive recap of the Lost series finale. By now anyone who watched the show has their own interpretation of what it all meant. I’m pretty much convinced that the sideways-flashes were limbo and everything that occurred on the island did indeed happen. The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 didn’t die in the crash and were reunited before passing on to the afterlife. I could be wrong, but I’m sticking to my guns.

Once the final shot faded to black, the song “Amazing Grace” began playing in my head. I’m not a religious person, but I’ve heard the hymn enough times to make some connections to the series. Being unfamiliar with all the lyrics, I immediately jumped on Google and did a quick search. It opens with the following verse:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer, Hurley, Sayid and the rest were the wretches. They were lost on the island and blind to their reason for living. After letting go, they found themselves, which allowed them to walk into the light. The song continues:

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

All the shit they endured on the island and in the flashbacks would definitely qualify as toils and snares. Who is Grace? Jacob? Desmond? God? I’m not certain, but Jacob showed them the path and in the sideways-flashes Desmond was the one responsible for guiding them “home.”

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When Jack closes his eyes his mortal life ceases. What awaits him in death is joy and peace with the people he loved most.

You can read the full lyrics here. Lost is too complex to summarize in a single hymn. However, the parallels between the narratives are hard to ignore. Both are about forgiveness and redemption even for those who have sinned. I might be reaching, although I’ve seen much crazier comparisons over the last six years.

At any rate, I will miss the show. It didn’t answer all my questions, but it did what most entertainment fails to do today. It made me think. For that, it deserves a mountain of praise.

After six agonizingly long, but for the most part amazing seasons, Lost is finally coming to a close on Sunday night. How will it all end? Is Jack really Jacob’s permanent replacement? Will Locke/Smoke Monster/Man in Black escape the island? Are Kate and Sawyer destined to be together? What will become of Ben? So many questions, some of which I have no doubt won’t be answered. Such is Lost.

Nevertheless, I have enjoyed the series more than any other in recent memory. When it’s good, it’s really good. And even when it throws a clunker, there’s usually something tasty to cull from each episode. While inventive writing and intricate story structure have been the show’s hallmarks, the characters are the ones that have kept the proceedings from spiraling out of control.

I’d love to say all the major principals were memorable, but that would be inaccurate. Even early on in season one, it was easy to distinguish the winners from the losers. Take Charlie for example. I know a lot of people dug his puppy dog charm, but I found him annoying as hell. When he got whacked in season four, I had to give a celebratory fist-pump. On the flip-side, Mr. Eko was the bomb. He died way too soon.

With only one more chance to see the cast in action, I thought now would be an opportune time to rank the most important characters on a scale of likability. Who kicked ass? Who underwhelmed? Who sucked? Employing a scale of 1 to 10 and a random order, let’s take a look at who was liked and who was loathed. (Note: I tried to cover the biggies and ignore the minor players.)

Hurley

Rating: 8.5

It was hard not to root for the lovable loser with an endless supply of Star Wars knowledge. He won the lottery, talked to dead people and was one of the chosen few. I still think he’d make an excellent Jacob, despite his reservations. He scores high marks because he never lost weight or a sense of humor during his time on the island.

Penny

Rating: 8

Ah, Penny. She never gave up on the love of her life, Desmond, even though her ass of a father couldn’t stand the guy. She scores high because she stuck to her convictions and is incredibly hot.

Claire

Rating: 4

Her backstory was interesting, but she served no real purpose besides supplying baby Aaron. Once she disappeared into the jungle, she wasn’t missed. Bringing her back for the final season was a waste. She scores low because she wasn’t at all convincing as a bad girl and that awful frizzy wig took away from her cuteness.

Richard Alpert

Rating: 8.5

For three seasons we had no clue who or what the hell Richard Alpert was, except that he acted as a covert adviser to the island’s denizens and he never aged. His origin episode was one of season six’s best installments. He scores high because he always had the best intentions in mind and was cool as a cucumber.

Jin and Sun

Rating: 6

I don’t think the writers ever knew what to do with the island’s first couple. They had their moments, but never reached the same level of importance as the other central characters. Sun was slightly more likable, however neither she or Jin did enough to warrant high marks. They score average because they were essentially a poor man’s Desmond and Penny.

Juliet

Rating: 8.5

Juliet was one tough cookie. She hated Ben, had a thing for Jack, but ultimately fell in love with Sawyer. Her defection from the Others signaled an integral shift in the direction of the series. Unfortunately, she was never able to fully integrate into the inner circle of Flight 815 survivors. She rates high for wanting to do right and dying admirably.

Jacob

Rating: 7.5

The island’s caretaker made sporadic appearances throughout the first five seasons before assuming a prominent role in season six. Due to his cryptic nature, Jacob wasn’t easy to read. I dug his omniscient ramblings, but couldn’t help but be frustrated by his strange antics. He gets a solid 7.5 because he handled immense responsibility with amazing calm.

Kate

Rating: 7

She’s still sexy as hell even though her act started getting old in season five. The love triangle with Jack and Sawyer was compelling at first, but her inability to make a definitive decision about either drops her down a peg or two. If the series ended after season three, she’d get a 9.5. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

If you’re one of the lucky few who watches both Lost and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia you no doubt noticed a familiar face appear in last night’s episode of the ABC insane asylum/hit series.

Rob McElhenney, who plays Mac on Sunny, returned to the Lost island portraying a nasty “other” named Aldo. He got to carry a gun and act tough and also die, which kinda sucked. Oh, did I spoil it for all you DVRers? Too fu**ing bad. It’s Lost — watch it when it first airs like a true loyalist.

Anywho, Rob/Aldo first showed up on the island in season three, when the lovely Kate smashed him in the face with a rifle butt. Well, he got duped by Kate once again last night, after he did some serious trash talking. Poor Aldo. He never stood a chance. Just chalk him up as another hapless victim to the island’s many hidden dangers.

I know what would have saved him though. Two words: dick towel.

It’s a little known fact that dick towels are bulletproof. To get one of your own, go here. Do it for Aldo.